So as I came home to finish up my message for tomorrow I couldnt shake but one thought. Spending time with my daughter. I couldnt shake it. So as I sat at the computer and started getting things up and going she just sat laughed and chilled. I couldnt shake my desire to be with her and spend time with her. After a 2 mins that seemed to be an eternity I decided that I would pick her up and forsake everything else and just spend time with her. She is at this stage in her growth where she is no longer still but on the verge of crawling so anytime she is held she just wiggles all over the place. As I was holding her not only was she wiggly she was distracted and constantly looking all over the place no one particular thing holding her attention or gaze for too long. As this progressed I began to feel more like a jungle gym than a father who wanted to spend time with his daughter. At that moment my sheer desire to connect with my daughter took over and I began to stand her up and try and catch her gaze. Without forcing her, but every time she changed her gaze I would change mine to catch hers. It became a game where for an instance she would make eye contact and in some cases even reach out and touch my face. Each time this happened it would send my heart soaring. Always careful not to force her to look at me but ever so gently placing my gaze in front of her knowing that if she made the choice of looking at me how much more it meant to me. And then there were the other times she would not give me her attention and would drool and twice spit up on me. And yet those moments did not keep me from seeking her gaze or lessen the excitement of catching her gaze. And in an instance the Lord ever so lovingly pointed out how myself and so many others treat Him. He gently trys to connect or catch our gaze but we are constantly distracted and allowing other pointless things take our gaze and focus off of God. And yet when we do connect its a special moment every time that makes the heart of God soar. Even during or after those moments where we spit and throw up on Him, it never deters Him from trying to catch our gaze or the excitement He gets when we catch His gaze. As I continue this brand new journey of fatherhood Im constantly being exposed to the Father heart of God and recognizing now more than ever how much and how deep His love and desire for us is.
