In a remote wilderness of uncharted territory I sit and ponder exactly where I’m at and what I’m doing. I haven’t the faintest idea yet. out of fear of failure I continue to walk stumbling and falling I continue to journey deeper in the soul of myself. AS darkness falls all around me I struggle to see where I’m headed I look to the heavens for guidance and find a black ominant curtain pulled over the heavens. As I contemplate the idea of stopping for the night or for good. I weigh in my own head the ideas of sitting and reflecting or blazing a new path. And before I can make a decision I’m caught in the engulfing darkness that envelops all. My hands loose shape as it infiltrates the dusk. I’m left only to contemplate and reflect. With each second that passes as I sit in this wilderness as a stranger. Fear begins to grip and seize every shred of humanity I poses. How can it be I fear my own soul. How can it be I don’t know my own soul. I lay paralyzed with fear hoping that the thunderous crashes I hear in the dark is just my mind trying to block the thoughts. Then as if by some unseen eves dropper the crashes are right above me. And that is when all hell breaks loose. I’m staring up with labored breath not know what is causing this bone chilling thunder that I seem to have some sixth sense recollection of. My mind is so enthralled with fear I can’t begin to process my surroundings let alone the familiar feeling I have with this thunder. CRASH, CRASH, CRASH. its RELENTLESS NATURE INTIMIDATES MY FEAR TO THE POINT I FEEL I COULD TURN IN SIDE OUT. imp LEFT CONFUSED, LONELY, HURT AND DEPENDENT ALL IN ONE MOMENT. recognizing MY TRUE DESIRES. as a minor in a cave counting the moments till he enters the light so my heart is clamoring for the shroud to be pulled down from heaven and guidance revealed. I can feel my heart pressing higher and higher as the thunder continues to grow louder and more intense as each crash feels as thought mts. are colliding. I’m lost and all I can think of is the feeling that my heart with burst forth from my lips. Yet as each crash of thunder continues I slowly slip into contentment as I feel hope begin to leave through he pores of my body I’m left with an overcoming of hopelessness. As this is happening simultaneously the thunder begins to subside. Yet the hopelessness lumes over my once tenacious heart. Till finally silence, from above and from within. No more clamoring heart for guidance, just the lone sound of a place where hope once was. As my body lays perfectly still waiting for the next paralyzing fear to embrace me, dawn begins to break. As I look around a sudden fearful rush of adrenaline and regret grip my body. As I realize that the thunderous crashing that left me in shear tyrannical fear was the very sound of my spirit battling my flesh for my soul. And there in the heavens a defeated spirit cowers till the next battle to come. As I gain my strength and continue to navigate this savage yet breathtaking land I’m left with a single thought. When will my spirit take revenge and overcome a deceitful ruler….my flesh.
