So in true fashion or at least to make myself feel smart I must start each blog with an insightful statement that I myself must have had to repeat 20 times so that I could understand it and make sure it made sense. Here goes:
Acceptance is the admonition of wrongdoing.
Now some of you may not agree with that statement due to context so let me explain the context. I have been reading a book called blue like jazz. I know, you’ve heard of it. It was almost fun to read a book that was not heard of. But, there goes that idea. Anyways in this book it was talking about Gods love, and obedience. It was strange to me that the idea the author presented was that we must first accept that God loves us and then we can love Him back and have the fuel to obey Him. As I read it I started to think about it and here’s what I came up with. All my life I have been raised Christian and told that God loves me. I just came to know it as knowledge passed down the family line like a piece of jewelry that was sentimental but never worn out of lack of fashion. So as I grew up I new God loved me. Now for those of you that have heard me talk you know my thoughts on knowledge. Knowledge is pointless. I know not to run through a lion’s cage at the zoo naked covered in raw meat, pretty picture, you know it was. But if I understand that lions are meat eaters and hunters my bountiful carcass posses as the object of there affection. Thus, knowledge + understanding = Education. If you don’t understand read an earlier blog. So for me I was faced with the knowledge that God loved me but did not understand it therefore I was not educated by the idea. So I grow up and in my mind I struggle to live a Godly life and continue to do so. But, here I’m faced with this idea, I have to accept Gods love. All my life I was placing boundaries up that I would run over constantly and have to re-build. I would tell others to protect themselves from sin by creating boundaries. But, I started placing boundaries out of necessity not desire. So my entire life has been me disciplining myself so I would live a Godly life. Well, it didn’t work, obviously. So I’m reading this statement that when we accept Gods love we then have the capacity to love Him back and obey out of happy desire. So I started thinking and it came to me. I was raised with the knowledge that God loves me and I never questioned it. And I had been a Christian since I was 3 so I developed a sub-consciousness that believed I wasn’t one of those people who needed Gods love. I lived my life for the most in agreement with His laws. So I wasn’t the one who Christ died for, I was just another face in the crowd of people who looked at junkies and whores as the ones who really needed Gods love not me. So there I was in my delusional Christian life thinking I was the exception of the rule and that the only thing I needed from God was His mercy and grace. So I lived my life out of discipline and not happy obedience. So I fell and I fell hard. And here I am realizing how much I have not accepted His love. Think about it. You know when your in love and the feelings you get. You wake up everyday wondering what you could wear to impress or attract that person. You take extra care of your hygiene to make sure your completely presentable to impress/earn the approval of the person. I even remember my first girlfriend when I was in 6th grade. I hated brushing my teeth, but every morning I awoke with a hunger for the day, just to be able to see her. So every morning I would make sure to make sure I brushed my teeth in case I was ever in close proximity of her. Having a crush or being in love makes you do anything and everything. Imagine we are in a relationship with God. What if we lived everyday to please Him like He was our husband or wife. Would you cheat on your partner? Would you ignore, discard, hurt or disobey the person who loves you the most in the world and wants nothing but the best for you? I have, all because I haven’t accepted His love. What would life be like if we accepted the idea He loves us so much that every morning we awoke with a smile knowing you have the love of someone so special all could be wrong with the world and it wouldn’t matter. Waht if we accepted His love?